Testing On Humans

This Friday 10 March 2017 should see the culmination of six years of app development – the completion of the Music Reading Trainer for Guitar.

It’s looking good, with bells and whistles all in place. The accompaniments are crisp and smack on the beat. Its black and white look is soft, balanced, inviting. And it has full┬áportrait/landscape orientation. I spend happy moments just tipping the screen through 360 degrees and laughing with delight.

A message will go out soon to all my Facebook friends, many of whom are guitarists. Come and get your free download, it will say, and beta test it for me. Pick it apart. Tell me where it goes wrong. Shoot from the hip, I don’t care. I want it to be the best it can be.

Which brings me to the jokey bit.

Forgive an old muso for reverting to type when I quip that I would have liked to test it on humans but had to settle for guitarists instead.

There are a million gags with which musicians affectionately trash each other. My favourite is the one about the three guys who arrive at the Pearly Gates…

Saint Peter asks the first “How much money did you make in life?”. He replies “I was a billionaire.” Smoke, fire, sulphurous smell.

He asks the second the same. “I was only a millionaire…” Same dire fate.

“And you?” he inquires of the third.

“Saint Peter,” the guy confesses, “if I made five grand in all my life I’d be surprised.”

And Saint Peter asks “Oh, what instrument did you play?”

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